Monday, April 5, 2010

Porches and Angels

I am a firm believer in the benefits of social media. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t live on Facebook, but I am logged in frequently to see what is going on with my friends and family. (And yes, to play FarmVille! I refuse to apologize for that addiction.)

The nuggets of information gleaned from my friends and relatives’ postings, notes, photos, etc., in most cases help to create a stronger, richer connection between us. Don’t get me wrong…those sorts of things in no way replace the warmth of a friend’s hug nor the laughter in the voice of a loved one relating a personal near-clothing malfunction incident. What the social media interactions do provide, however, are more frequent interactions in each others’ lives. Let’s face it: our society has gotten so busy that there is little time for the sorts of interactions that were prevalent in our youth or before.

I miss the days of sitting on the front porch or in the yard, waving to passers by, sharing with neighbors a few minutes of conversation over the fence. In a sense, Facebook has become my front porch. From it, I can congratulate Pastor Jim on a great sermon, thank Polly for the tasty recipe she shared, trade weather stories with Connie, talk football with Cheryl, and swap some good-natured ribbing with Danny. Not one of these friends lives in my neighborhood. In fact, some of them live on different continents.

While I don’t often get to see in person many of my Facebook friends, I do interact with them on a regular basis via my cyber front porch. A group of my high school classmates regularly interact with each other on a variety of topics. We’re there for each other. We support, advise, and yes, sometime chide each other, depending on the situation. My friends from college and I reminisce about our adventures and exchange stories about what our lives are like now.

Sharing of “historic” photos from our youth has become a fun part of our interactions. Quite often, the photos are group shots that include people I haven’t thought of in years. I eagerly look at faces to determine whether I remember those youngsters.

Sometimes, I’ll see an old friend with whom I have lost touch and will attempt to re-establish contact. Such was the case this past weekend when a friend from college was tagged in a group photo. The photo showed up in my news feed, so I decided to see who I remembered from her house. In the shot, I saw an old friend.

Janet and I had drifted apart over the last 15 years, but ours was always the sort of friendship that picked up right where it left off. So with that in mind, I decided to see whether she had a Facebook. She didn’t. What I found instead was her obituary. She had died in December of 2007.

My counseling training tells me right where I am in stages of grief, but it does nothing to lessen the shock and the pain I feel. Janet’s passing is a tragic reminder that we don’t know what the future holds for us. God has a plan for each of us. While I don’t know what He has in store for me, I’d like to think that He wanted me to know that even when I am going through some extremely stressful times in my life, there is one more angel watching over me.