Monday, September 3, 2012

Fine in my 50s


A couple of years ago, I wrote that I was enjoying my 40s much more than any other age, primarily because of experience and wisdom. Now that I am tackling my fifty-second year, I’d say the notions of experience and wisdom continue to play an important role in my enjoying my age/life.

I have, however, added a new tool to my age/life enjoyment collection: the realization that I don’t need to get all worked up about people or situations I cannot change. When I was younger and someone lied about me or portrayed me in an untrue, negative light, I would get angry and want to get even. In my mind, those who had wronged me had to pay for what they had done to me. (Sort of an Old Testament take on interactions with others.)  That kind of behavior was not healthy and continued to feed off itself, festering much like a boil in need of a good lancing.

I’m not quite sure when that realization sunk in. It wasn’t because of reading a self-help book. I abhor such wastes of trees and find annoying and pathetic people who continually pepper their conversations with self-help gobbledygook in an effort to appear more intelligent than they really are. (Just be yourself! … but that is a topic for another post.) It wasn’t as dramatic as God speaking to me from a burning bush.  I can’t pinpoint any particular “ah-ha moment.” The notion that I didn’t need to get all worked up just gradually became a part of my being.

I haven’t yet achieved the Mother Teresa level of loving and forgiving those who have behaved badly toward me. It still bothers me when someone lies about me or falsely accuses me, but once I have stated my side of it (if I am given the chance to do so), I am done with it. I find peace in the fact that all parties involved know the truth and God knows the truth and will take care of the wrong-doers in His own good time.

Some will say “what about those who believe the lies of others?” I have no control over them, either. I don’t hate them, but you can bet I will be cautious of them in the future. My only consolation is that someday, God will show them the truth.

As I was writing this, I realized that I was wearing my tie-dyed peace sign shirt. I bought it because it was colorful and I liked the way it looked. Ironic that I am wearing it while writing this post. Perhaps the shirt is an indication of how I should end this post. So for now, I will leave you with peace.